As a country, we love to drink. In fact, if you look at the country’s total alcohol consumption, we drink an average of 2.32 gallons of pure alcohol per person each year. That’s a lot of cocktails.
Although our love of drinking remains strong, the way we like to drink definitely has definitely changed over time. It’s not like people from hundreds of years ago walked into a tavern and said “I’ll take ye olde Appletini, please”.
Obviously, drinking has changed. As we learn more about alcohol and the science behind mixing a really good drink, the craft of bartending has had to change and adapt to accommodate demand for new and interesting drinks too.
Bar-goers are tired of the same old classics. We demand craft cocktails. Afterall, we can easily make the classics at home. If I’m going to spend $12 for one drink, I don’t want to be able to make it myself. #justsaying
In order to meet demand for craft drinks, bartenders have had to adapt. Historically, bartending was a part-time job, something you did to get customer service experience or as a transitional job during college. But, that’s quickly changing. Bartending is a career now. It needs to be in order to keep up with the demands for new and changing drink menus, cram-packed with craft cocktails. The historically high turnover in the industry just won’t work. Bartenders are becoming Mixologists. Professionals at their craft, not just someone looking to make their own drinking money.
Beyond just mixing up clever, craft-cocktails, bartenders also tend to be great listeners and able to offer advice on all types of things. Who doesn’t get a little chatty after their third or fourth trip to the bar? Lucky for us, bartenders also tend to be really good at keeping secrets. From how they make your drink taste stronger without actually making it any stronger, to the things you do that they secretly hate, check out these 13 things your bartender would never tell you.
1. You could make the same drink at home for a fraction of the cost
1/5th, to be exact. It’s an industry standard that bars try to keep their expenses for drink ingredients at 20% (or less) of what they charge the consumer.
That means the ingredients for the $15 Manhattan you’ve been milking all night cost the bar $3. For that price, you could stay home, make the drink yourself, and fill a rainbow donkey pinata with 100 bouncy balls.
Excuse me while I fetch my pinata stick.
2. You’re not tipping enough
Despite how much bars charge for drinks, the average bartender only makes $22,000 a year. That means they rely heavily on their tips. Obviously, bartenders won’t tell if you’re not tipping enough, but I will.
A good rule of thumb is $1 for beer, wine, and well drinks (or 15%, whichever is more), $2 for mixed drinks (same), 20% for table service, 30% if it’s a holiday. Those are the standard. More than that is an incentive for a job well done, but less is an insult.
3. If you wave, yell or shake money at them, they’re going to make you wait longer
The first time I ordered a drink from a bartender was an overwhelming experience. People were butt-to-gut around the bar. The bartender was dripping a lot of sweat that may or may not have been landing in the drinks in front of him. But surprisingly, that wasn’t my biggest concern.
The real source of my stress was how to order. Once I made my way to the bar, how would I get the weary bartender’s attention with all those other people? How do I know when it’s my turn to order or if I’m cutting off someone else who’s been waiting longer? I was raised right, afterall. I don’t want to be rude.
It must have been clear I was uncomfortable with the chaos, because a friend offered some advice. Just walk up as close as you can get to the bar and be ready to order. Have your money out so they can see it and cash is better than a card.
The advice must have worked, because I can’t seem to remember the rest of that night.
It’s totally acceptable to head to the bar, ready to order, with your cash or card in hand. But, what bartenders won’t tell you, is they hate it when you impatiently wave your cash or tap your card. Don’t wave, shout, or otherwise attempt to flag them down. That’ll just make your wait longer while they make drinks for people who haven’t annoyed them.
Instead, approach the bar and make eye contact. A ‘what’s up’ style nod is also acceptable. Consider that as acknowledgement of your place in line. They have seen you, they will serve you, just be cool.
If you don’t want to wait, bartenders suggest you go home and make it yourself. We think that’s a great idea!
4. Ordering light ice actually gets you a MORE watered down drink.
The first time I ordered a drink from a bartender was an overwhelming experience. People were butt-to-gut around the bar. The bartender was dripping a lot of sweat that may or may not have been landing in the drinks in front of him. But surprisingly, that wasn’t my biggest concern.
The real source of my stress was how to order. Once I made my way to the bar, how would I get the weary bartender’s attention with all those other people? How do I know when it’s my turn to order or if I’m cutting off someone else who’s been waiting longer? I was raised right, afterall. I don’t want to be rude.
It must have been clear I was uncomfortable with the chaos, because a friend offered some advice. Just walk up as close as you can get to the bar and be ready to order. Have your money out so they can see it and cash is better than a card.
The advice must have worked, because I can’t seem to remember the rest of that night.
It’s totally acceptable to head to the bar, ready to order, with your cash or card in hand. But, what bartenders won’t tell you, is they hate it when you impatiently wave your cash or tap your card. Don’t wave, shout, or otherwise attempt to flag them down. That’ll just make your wait longer while they make drinks for people who haven’t annoyed them.
Instead, approach the bar and make eye contact. A ‘what’s up’ style nod is also acceptable. Consider that as acknowledgement of your place in line. They have seen you, they will serve you, just be cool.
If you don’t want to wait, bartenders suggest you go home and make it yourself. We think that’s a great idea!
5. Asking them to “make it strong” doesn’t work.
Unless they own the bar, they don’t have a ton of control over how much alcohol goes into your drink. A bar is a business, and businesses are designed to profit. If they made drinks heavy on the alcohol whenever someone asked without charging any more, their profit margins dip.
“But, I’ve order this way before and I know my drink tasted stronger!” Wrong. Bartenders have a top secret trick they use to deceive you. They simply jiggle a drop or two of alcohol in your straw, causing your first couple tastes to seem much stronger. Of course you’ll be convinced the whole drink through. They get a bigger tip, and their boss doesn’t yell at them over drink costs. Pretty sneaky, bartenders.
6. They’ll lie about missing ingredients to avoid a complicated drink order
Turns out, bartenders have been lying to us.
When you’re faced with a busy bar and an overly complicated drink order, you’ve got a decision to make. Please one customer by taking the time to tenderly muddle their mint, or lie and serve more customers faster.
So, they lie. Want a Mojito in the middle of midnight madness? Sorry, we’re out of mint. It’s the perfect excuse. It’s not like the customer can go check behind the bar. They can’t argue or insist you make something without the ingredients. Well played, bartenders, well played.
7. They hate it when you pay with plastic
Bars hate it when you pay with plastic because it costs them an average of 2-3% in processing fees. But, unless the bartender happens to own the joint, that’s not their problem. Their problem is the paperwork.
More credit cards = more end of night paperwork = longer they’re stuck at work after close. That means, unless you’re starting a tab, cash is preferred. It’s especially obnoxious when you pay with a card and cash out after every round.
There’s just one problem; who really carries cash anymore? I mean seriously. You’d be better off just ordering your drink online… For the record, we love it when you pay with plastic.
8. They Leave Those Garnishes Out All Day
See that vat of lemon and lime slices behind the bar? Those get prepped at the beginning of the day, and left out until they’re used up. That means if the bar wasn’t busy that day, you’ll be sucking on a slimy lemon that’s been sitting out for hours when you order your late night Lemon Drop.
Better scope out the bar and see how fast they’re whisking those wedges away before you order any tequila. Or, get your drink with a fresh lemon, delivered to your door in minutes. #justsaying
9. That Vermouth Shouldn’t be Sitting Out All Night
While we’re on the subject of potential healthcode violations, Vermouth is a grape based drink and perishable, just like wine. That means it should be kept refrigerated once it’s opened. If you spot it sitting out on the counter all night, maybe skip the Manhattan or Dry Martini.
If spending your night playing Where’s Waldo with a bottle of vermouth sounds like a bit of a drag… You could make your own Manhattan at home, and get all the supplies delivered in just 30 minutes. Bonus, if you get sick after drinking, you’ll know it wasn’t the vermouth!
10. They could give you free drinks, if they wanted to
Most bars have something called a ‘comp tab’. An open tab for complimentary drinks that get charged to the house. But, wait a minute… why would a bar give anything away for free after all this talk about profit?
It’s good for business. Seriously. For every ‘free’ drink they give away, they have the potential to make hundreds of dollars by turning that person into a regular. Or at the very least, a repeat customer. Wouldn’t you be more likely to return to a place that gave you something for free?
They build it into the budget, because it’s good business.
How do you become the recipient of one of these glorious free drinks? It’s kind of up to the whim of the bartender. Things that help your odds include, not being obnoxious, spending a lot of money/tipping well, and not asking for free drinks.
11.Stand Away From The Service Area Or You Won’t Get Served
The bar isn’t the only place to order your drink, but it is where they’re all made. Most bars offer table service, meaning no hassle of heading back and forth to the bar. It also means a higher tip, as we talked about earlier. That means that there needs to be space for the waitstaff to grab their drinks at the bar. They call that the service area.
If you’re standing in front of a service area, then you’re in the way. You’re also annoying the bartender, the waitstaff, and the people waiting for their drinks. Bartenders are likely to ignore you until you move to an acceptable ordering area.
Order from anywhere you get cell phone reception with our app, no judgement. Order a brew from the bathroom, or wine on the way home. We’ll meet you at your place.
12. They get paid to order Taxis
After gently tucking that wobbly bachelorette into a taxi, we’re pretty sure your bartender won’t tell you that their good deed is being rewarded by a cut from the cab ride. It’s true though.
Taxi companies partner with bars. They give them a cut for every taxi they order for patrons who are ‘too drunk to drive’.
So, your bar agrees to exclusively call ABC Taxi when they need to call for a ride for a patron, and they give you a cut of the profit. Pretty genius and straight-forward deal. Plus, less people driving under the influence is always a good thing.
But it’s another bartenders discretion type of thing. You might quickly find yourself swindled into paying for an unexpected cab-ride by an overzealous bartender trying to make a buck on referrals.
Speaking of which, did you know that when you a refer a friend to Saucey, they get $10 off their first order, and you get $10 off your next order? Skip the cab, save some money, and order in.
13. They’ll serve you non-alcoholic beer without telling you
If a bartender notices that a customer is getting near the cut-off point, rather than cause a scene by refusing to serve them, they’ll serve them a non-alcoholic beer. Of course, the placebo beer is on the house, but it’s still a pretty dirty trick. Of course, they claim to only use their powers for good, but it definitely makes you wonder…
Never wonder if you’re getting served non-alcoholic beer again. Order your own, have it delivered to your door, and drink from the comfort of your home.
