So what was it this time, beer before liquor? Four too many tequila shots? A bottle of champagne to yourself? Or perhaps a combination of all of the above. There are far too many drinking sins in our humble opinion, and the punishment for them is most definitely cruel and unusual. Everyone has their own idea of what will cure the dreaded hangover but that doesn’t mean that rolling out of bed, changing out of last night’s clothes, and facing the reality of the outside world all while keeping your head from spontaneously combusting to get to CVS is something you’re willing to do.
Luckily, the same service that brings your favorite boozy libations to your front door is also stocked with plenty of relief for your over indulgence of them. Plan ahead for your next big night in or out with a few Saucey offerings with healing powers.
The Night Before:
Country Archer Sriracha Beef Jerky
Having a snack on hand to tear into before passing out after drinking will help alleviate some of your hangover symptoms tomorrow morning. The old adage goes that you need dense carbs like breads and pasta to “absorb” the alcohol, but there is unfortunately no such process as absorption of alcohol from your system. Fatty meats are rich in amino acids which will signal to your neurotransmitters that it is time to digest and filter out the substances in your body, overindulging in alcohol weakens your body from doing this on its own.
San Pellegrino
We all know that alcohol majorly dehydrates our bodies, and if you’ve really made a point to turn up tonight then regular ol’ water just isn’t going to cut it. San Pelly contains potassium and sodium, two incredibly important minerals that you will become deficient of when heavily drinking. In order to plump your cells back up and avoid a searing headache tomorrow you might want to take down an entire bottle before bed. The bubbles will also help settle your stomach it’s already…um, upset.
Woolwich Triple Cream Goat Brie + Classic Wheat Thins
It’s important to flood your system with hangover fighting agents while you’re still drunk enough for them to be appetizing, tomorrow morning it will not be as easy to think about food. Cheese is packed with enzymes and protein that alcohol will suck up out of you like a sponge, replacing them along with a stomach settling cracker like Wheat Thins is the perfect late night indulgence that will save you some grief in the morning.
Zico Coconut Water
Flooding your dehydrated system with water without replacing electrolytes can cause a lot more harm than good, water intoxication in the case of an extreme hangover is unlikely without consuming several liters, but all the same you won’t feel too great. Coconut water is an excellent way to replenish lost electrolytes without a ton of added sugar like you get with Gatorade. Buy a couple so you have one to pound before passing out, and another to grab first thing in morning.
The Next Morning:
Zico Coconut Water
Seriously, order the dang coconut water. You’re going to need it, pop it open first thing in the morning and force it down. Most people will go straight for the coffee but remember that caffeine is a diuretic which will only help to dehydrate you further.
Simply Orange Juice
If you’re going to make it to brunch, you seriously need to get to work on curing your ills. Or, if you’re planning on rewatching Stranger Things with the blinds drawn for the entire day in bed…you still need to get to work on curing those ills. Fry a couple eggs with some olive oil, one of the best hangover cures you probably already have on hand, and chug a full glass of Simply Orange Juice. Vitamin C has shown to be an effective accelerator of metabolizing alcohol, it won’t cure your splitting headache but it will help speed up the process.
Canada Dry Ginger Ale
If you typically get nauseous when you’re hungover, tack a bottle of Ginger Ale onto your Saucey order and open it before passing out. Flat Ginger Ale will be much easier to stomach in the morning, and your stomach will be very gracious. Ginger naturally settles uneasy bellies, and after you’ve taken down some other replenishing substance like the aforementioned options, your body will be ok to take in a little sugar without feeling worse.
Clamato + Modelo Especial + Limes
There really is no better cure for a hangover than hair of the dog. All the experts will tell you that more alcohol will only make matters worse, and they’re right…if that is the first thing you try the next morning. After a coconut water, a couple Advil, a huge glass of water, a shower, a fried egg sandwich, and orange juice (in that order), and you still feel terrible? More booze is the only way to go. A Bloody Mary is only good if you have someone else there to make it and deliver it to what feels like your death bed, the short cut it a Michelada. Beer won’t dehydrate you further as badly as hard alcohol and when masked with the traditional Mexican hangover remedy Clamato, the mixture goes down a lot smoother. Add a couple splashes of Tabasco and the juice of half a lime, this will help increase circulation to purge toxins and refresh your liver.
Fernet-Branca
No one really has a concise answer as to why the extremely herbal and intense Italian liqueur so effectively kicks hangovers to the curb, it just does. Something about it being a digestif and all that jazz, we have no idea. Fergus Henderson, famed London chef and restaurateur, swears by the unlikely combo of Fernet and Creme de Menthe to bring about your hangover resurrection. I gagged initially at the thought of such, Fernet is hardly something I seek out to imbibe. However, I was pleasantly surprised at not only the combination of flavors but also the quick results, with every completed sip I felt myself coming back to life. If you don’t just happen to have a bottle of Creme de Menthe on hand, mix in a couple spoonfuls of sugar. This will help to up your depleted glucose levels.
So best of luck to you, friend. We’ve all been there, we’ll be there again, and we believe in you now. Stay strong and hydrate fully. We’ll see you again at the bar…someday.
