It’s Friday night, and you just cracked open an old fashioned (but handcrafted) IPA. It’s crisp, cool, refreshing, and highly recommended by all your friends. You take a drag and hit the couch, and begin the nightly social media surf. Between pictures of babies and snarky political posts, you notice your first sponsored ad is for that pretty IPA you’re sipping. Man, they’ve sure got your number.
You put down the phone and pick up the remote. There’s a re-run of the Big Bang Theory on in the background as you fumble through the menus trying to locate last week’s Walking Dead. You do an awesomely comedic spit-take as you realize… Leonard and Penny are drinking the same craft beer as you.
It slowly dawns on you, as you slide your beer across the end table and wipe your mouth in disgust.
You. Are. Basic.
Deep breaths. We can fix this together.
First, no more Starbucks of the beer world for you. And, let’s not even talk those patterned leggings we saw in your closet.
Unfortunately, this isn’t an episode of Queer Eye, and we can’t solve all your problems in one blog. We can, however, help you out with your basic beer. We’ve compiled a list of some of the most bizarre beers in the world. Best of all, you can get them delivered to your door in minutes. Problem solved. Now, where did you put the remote?
7. Banana Bread Beer
Banana Bread Beer sounds pretty bizarre, but it’s really not much of a stretch. Afterall, beer has been referred to as ‘liquid bread’, and we have all kinds of fruit flavored beers. Why not combine the two concepts into one beautiful banana flavored love child?
Well’s Brewing must have had the same idea, because they did just that with their Banana Bread Beer. Surprisingly subtle, it’s a versatile brew that doesn’t hit you over the head with artificial banana flavor. In fact, they use real (fair-trade) bananas in their brew. Sounds like we’re one step away from beer smoothies, and I’m totally on board.
6. Short’s Brew Strawberry Short’s Cake
Strawberry Shortcake is pretty classic when it comes children’s cartoons and desserts, but when it comes to beer it’s a little bit bizarre.
Besides being a fun play on words using their name, Short’s Brew Strawberry Short’s Cake is actually kind of brilliant. The natural yeastiness of the beer lends itself to a biscuity shortcake flavor, whereas the the strawberry works seamlessly with the milk sugar to make a sweet, creamy dessert of a drink.
Ready for dessert? Get it delivered to your door. We’re thinking chocolate syrup shots with strawberry shortcake beer chasers.
Thanks to Celest-Jewel-Ale you don’t have to be an astronaut to crack open an ice-cold moon beer. Made with lunar meteorites, this beer is legitimately out of this world.
Turns out, Dogfish Head Brewery is just down the road from the company that makes spacesuits for NASA. They helped Dogfish Head procure very rare moon-rocks, which their brewers crushed up and steeped in an Oktoberfest ale. Mostly made of mineral and salts, the moon rocks only enhance the earthy (or should we say moony?) flavors of the ale.
Dogfish Head created their Celest-Jewel-Ale in celebration of the fall equinox and the harvest moon. They even had their spacesuit-slinging neighbors create some custom koozies suitable for sippin’ moon beer.
Unfortunately for us, Celest-Jewel-Ale was a 2013 Brew-Pub exclusive. Which makes Celeste-Jewel Ale nearly impossible to find now. But, at least you can get plenty of Dogfish Head beers delivered to your door in less than 30 minutes. You can always sprinkle in some matcha and pretend it’s moon dust.
After impressing us with moon beer, Dogfish Head is back at it with their wasabi infused beer. Inspired by a collaboration with Indie musician Julianna Barwick, Rosabi was a subtle combination of all her favorite flavors.
Perfect for pairing with sushi, Rosabi only got a 1000 case run in 2014, with each 750ml bottle coming with a 10 inch record of original music from Barwick. Sushi, wasabi, beer, and vinyl… sounds like the makings for a pretty great date night.
3. GhostFace Killah
On its surface, this straw-colored beer looks pretty harmless, but then you take a sip… and it sucker-punches you in the mouth with peppers.
Made with a blend of spices from six different chili peppers, this beer isn’t for the faint of heart. Brewers even included the Bhut Jolokia, or ‘ghost pepper’, which was certified by Guinness Book of World Records as the hottest pepper in the world.
I assumed this beer was endorsed by Wu-Tang Clan member, GhostFace Killah himself. Turns out, the brewer is just a big fan of Wu-Tang and funny puns. A play on the ghost pepper being so hot it’ll melt your face, GhostFace Killah is kind of the perfect name for this beer. Although they listen to Wu-Tang while they brew the beer, they never actually asked for permission before branding the beer.
After they produced the brew, it kind of blew up. They did interviews in Rolling Stone, L.A. Times, and a number of other hip-hop publications, and eventually word got around to the original Ghostface Killah. Fortunately for Twisted Pine Brewery, Ghostface isn’t the litigious type. He requested some complimentary cases of the beer, but otherwise signed off on the face-melting brew.
Although it’s tough to find outside of Colorado (unless you’re Ghostface Killah, of course), you can try something a little more mellow with Rogue’s Sriracha Beer instead. It doesn’t include any face-melting peppers, but it’s still a pretty spicy brew.
2. Rogue Beard Beer
Those first five beers might have been pretty bizarre, but Rogue Beer went way out there with a beer created from their brewer’s beard. Yup, you read that correctly. That hair in your beer is intentional.
Rogue’s Beard Beer was brewed from yeast that was cultivated from the beard of the their brewmaster in chief, John Maier. On a whim while testing for new local strains of yeast, the brewery submitted 9 chin-whiskers from Maier. Much to their surprise, his beard contained traces of yeast suitable for brewing beer. They decided to run with it, and Beard Beer was born.
It actually makes sense, having brought his beard with him to more than 15,000 brews, John Maier’s beard was kind of the perfect breeding ground for wild brewing yeast. Who would have thought that hipster beard would cave in to capitalism so quickly.
They set out to find a new, exotic, and locally sourced brewing-yeast, only to find the answer (literally) right in front of their faces. Well, at least Maier’s face. Sweet, yeasty irony.
1. Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout
After scouring the internet, I can assure you that Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout is the most bizarre beer out there.
You might not think that oyster flavored beer sounds that strange, but you clearly don’t know what a Rocky Mountain Oyster is. Spoilers, it’s not seafood.
Wynkoop Brewery describes their Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout as “a meaty foreign-style stout… made with Colorado base malts, roasted barley, seven specialty malts, Styrian Goldings hops, and 25 pounds of freshly sliced and roasted bull testicles.”
There you have it. ‘Rocky Mountain Oyster’ is a tasteful euphemism for bull testicles.
Although the idea started as an April Fools joke, it piqued genuine interest from customers who weren’t in on the joke. So, the brewers decided to actually make it (much to the chagrin of bulls everywhere).
Hands down the ballsiest beer out there, Wynkoop Brewery sells it by the two-pack in their Colorado stores. Although it’s a little hard to come by, we do have plenty of testicle-free beers to choose from. On behalf of bulls everywhere, we suggest something a little less nutty.
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Say bye bye to basic with bizarre beer delivered to your door. Now, let’s talk about those leggings…
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